Thanks for your permission

Doctors, because they’ve never seen it before, it must be in my head. The same with ENT office, I get no there’s no hope of it getting better but let’s try therapy. Seriously?! And I get it from Lyme or years of seizures and idk. Basically, my brain doesn’t communicate with my vocal cords, but I don't want to give up.

I constantly tell myself I’m not a victim, but I sure feel stuck. And faking I’m fine is exhausting. This is life changing so no I’m not fine. I’m ‘working through it’ but it’s not a I’m fine kind of thing. Thinking I will be the same person as I’ve always is impossible but knowing what to expect of myself idk. I can’t be the talkative outgoing me anymore. That me died with my voice. I don’t know what’s left. Or how to find her. 

Something that I notice people do when they learn I’m mute they will say, “that’s okay too” like they are giving me permission!!? Seriously?! What is wrong with people? My disability needed their permission. No empathy no questions like "how it happened" or "how are you", nothing just "that’s okay too". I want to look at them like they are mental, but I don’t at least I think I don’t, I try to hold that in. A few and I’m serious only a few will have human feelings and have empathy. I don’t want pity but if it was someone else in this situation not me my heart would break for them.